Thursday, September 16, 2010

Archaic Silliness

The Mister and I have different last names. I have opted to continue using my maiden name; he uses his. We had a long discussion about it and decided that it was silly to change names. Frankly, both of us have fine families and, thus, fine name recognition. Heck, his great-great Uncle was a noted Civil War General and never took the oath of allegience after the "recent unpleasantness." I'd be honored to have his family name. But, it is not MY family name.

I have grown used to answering the question: "Why do you have different names?" His mother tells people I have a "professional" name which makes me feel like a stripper or something. My answer is much more direct: "I offered him my name, but he just wouldn't budge." And that usually ends it.

This has become annoying recently. We are in the process of conducting a legal business transaction. Would you believe I had to write the board a letter explaining WHY I use a different name. For crying out loud, who cares? It is our business. All my personal information is accurate. There are no descrepencies.So, why does it matter that I have a different name? I am not his property nor is he mine. He does not control me or my career, nor do I his. And this is why women started taking their husband's last name. It was a show of ownership.

Don't get me wrong. I adore my Mister. I am glad we are spending our lives together building our dreams and goals. He is my other half. I waited a long time for him and glad he finally showed up! However, I am sick unto death of having to justify a personal decision.

What do you think? Do you think married couples should have the same last name? Or, should that be as personal as their china pattern?


  1. Personal decision to me. People make such a fuss over the stupidest things!

  2. It is a personal decision but I have kids and I would not want my kids to have a different name then me or their dad. People seem to be surprised more often that not that all 5 of us have the same last name!
    I never had a problem taking his name when we married. Trust me everyone knew my extended family in our town. It wasnt bad but I was always compared to them. I am as different from them as night and day. I dont put as much emphasis on material goods and tend to be abit of what my friends and hubby describe as hippy!Lol Geez the horror!
    But it is still up to you and your mister.. And to have to write a letter is stupid.
    People are just to stinkin nosey sometimes. I think that is all it amounts too.

  3. I gave up the last name "Love" when I got married. It took me a long time as a kid to get comfortable with it (lots of teasing), but I was in my mid-30's when I married, and never really thought about NOT taking his name, even though mine was way cooler. But I've always thought it was a personal decision. That letter writing thing is a great opportunity for a soapbox with humor :)


  4. Oh I have a story about our last name, both David and I go by fox-hughes. David took my last name. I am fox, he is hughes. The reason is my father is Jewish and since I was a little girl I have always felt a connection to this side of my family. Just about all of my father’s family was killed in the holocaust. Both my grandparents died when my father was in his teens. My father only had brothers and most of them had no children. I recognized as a child that the family name was going to stop with my sister and I. There are no sons to carry on the name. I decided at like age 9, if I married I wanted my husband to take on my name and David did. We talked about this at our wedding. It is a symbol of all my family has lost because of the holocaust. So that is my story xoxo Clarice

  5. I think that a married woman's last name is as much her choice as her daily bra and undies..,lemme explain, if you ask a woman if her daily choice for her undergarments always match some will say yes, my bra is always the same color as my undies and some will say, I never give it a thought, I just put it on and get dressed....well I say that last names should be the same, if it's important the they both match great, if not that's great too....either way you will head out to face the day and noone even needs to know....unless you forget to put on your dress.
    LOL and a wink!
    Ma TK


Thanks for dropping in on the farm today! I enjoy your comments!