Okay. So, do you have this kind of "friend" in your life?
You make plans. Confirm. Talk to confirm plans. Confirm. Plan your day around the plan. Confirm.
And then, it comes: The Voice Mail:
We can't do it today, because....
OR
Today has not turned out so good, could we...
OR
Just confirming that you are going to... (and it is ONE HOUR before you are supposed to... )
Come on. If I take the time to make the plans, confirm, and then confirm a second time, do you really think I am going to change my mind? Or, do you really think that I feel like being your friend is special because every single time you have to make Some Kind of Change? Or, do you honestly believe that your are in control of every moment of every day in everyone's life (read: Mine) and that I am so happy that you are in control that I will shift my entire week, day, or minute to suit your Very Special Needs?
It seems to me these days that there are more of these kinds of people than the ones who make a plan, stick to it, and keep it as it was agreed. Everyone seems to want to make life All About Me. What about the other person? What about my time? My needs? My wishes? Maybe we shouldn't be friends anymore. Wait. Maybe we aren't friends. Maybe just I am the friend. Frankly, ya'll, I am worn out with some things and this is one.
It's like those people who call and never once ask how you are or anything about you. They rant, rave, weep, complain, and eat up however long it takes them to either wind down or for you to get a word in edgewise to end the conversation and then hang up. Or, when they have exhausted their soliloquy, they ask how you are only to cut you off with, "Yeah, I had that happen once... let me tell you..." and then you are doomed to being relegated to listening. Again. Jiminy, ya'll, is there no one who knows how to be a friend any more?? Doesn't anyone understand that friendship is a two-way street and that it takes two people to have one... that it is give and take??? Geez.
I quit shopping at a wonderful yarn store for just this reason. I couldn't bear the Disease of the Day when I went in. Don't you go to a yarn shop or craft store for the fun? I sure do. I don't want to hear the great recent sadness. Or, if that isn't timely, to hear a recanting of the Last Recent Sadness Until The Next One Comes. Please. Let me just order from someone online who wants my money and nothing more. At least we understand each other!
Now, how are you?
Wishing I were close enough to make "plans" with you and then happily stick to them!! (-:
ReplyDeleteHi Matty, sorry you had such a frustrating day. I have had that happen too, more times than I can count, especially with people who make it a habit of being very late or changing plans last minute. While I think some of it stems from selfishness, I think many people no longer know how to manage their time properly. It is kind of a like a child who is trying to play right up to the very second the bus arrives for school, some people habitually cram too much into their day, not giving a thought to the nervous energy they create. I hope you have a much better day tomorrow! Delisa :)
ReplyDeleteDo you and I have the same "friend"? Except my friend will call and talk for hours about herself then after an hour and a half say, "Gee I didn't even ask about you" When I open my mouth to speak, she then goes, "Oh someone's trying to buzz in, got to go!" Her marriage must be in better shape these days because I haven't heard from her in months. Which is good is because I don't have the energy to be an affirming voice to her anymore. Guess I'm on a rant too!
ReplyDeleteI have a friend like that, all about them. Not sure that is a true friendship:-)
ReplyDeleteMy grandfather used to tell us, "No one can take advantage of you without your permission". So, now I don't give permission ....LOL!
Ditch the friend Matty, your too good a soul for that!