Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Being Female Ain't So Bad

Last night, after a very sudden illness, the Mister's brother died.

The last four days have been surreal and we have not even begun to really understand what happened. And, yet, there is one thing I am completely grateful for: being a woman.

As four women stood around him as he prepared to leave us (and, honestly, the Mister was there so we can make him an honorary woman), I realized something amazing: women are there to bring life in and we are there to hold hands as it leaves. What a gift. No man can understand the fullness of this wonder.

Think of it.

We alone know the life coming from us. It is the one true time we are the vehicle for God's greatest miracle. Women alone can know the intimacy of that life: we feel it; we talk to it; we love it long before it has a face.

And, on the other end of the chain, women alone are the ones who stand in service and preparation for life to leave. We are the nurses, caretakers, preparers (until modern times when the undertaker undertook our responsibility), and planners. We make sure the life is remembered fully and, we carry in our hearts the memories of watching that life leave.

As our dear one left yesterday, he opened his eyes and looked one last time at the first face he ever saw. Somehow, it was fitting and proper. It was sacred.

This is my favorite song. You will recognize the voices as they are the girls from the movie "O Brother, Where Art Thou." Enjoy.


  1. What a beautiful post Matty, and I am so sorry for your loss. Strength to you and yours during this difficult time.

  2. My condolences to you and the Mister, Matty. I attended to my father, along with my mother and two of my sisters, his final weeks of his life. It was the hardest but most rewarding thing I ever did.

  3. I am so sorry for your loss... Very true this post....

  4. This is such a beautiful post. I am sorry for your family's loss.

  5. Matty, I'm so sorry for your loss and please give your husband our condolences as well. The video and song you chose was such a beautiful tribute. I sat with both my mother and father when they died and I know exactly what you mean. I think it is the most beautiful and loving thing we can do for another, it takes courage but it is something you never regret. Once you have been through it, you never fear death in quite the same way again. I hope your day is restful and filled with comfort many happy memories. Delisa

  6. Dear Matty I am sorry for you and your husband’s lost. What a gift you were able to give your BIL. We as women are gifts with bring in life ad therefore carry something in our hearts, I agree men cannot fully understand. Love Clarice

  7. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.
    Yes, God certainly gave us a special role as women.
    We'll be keeping you and yours in our thoughts and prayers.

  8. I've been sick but I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. It's hard enough at any time but especially when the illness is sudden like that.

    I was holding my mother's hand when she passed away and it was such an honor.

    I love that song, have for years. It's just beautiful.

  9. So very sorry to hear of your loss and will be praying for your family.

    Beautiful song also.

  10. Hi Matty, I was thinking about you today and wanted to tell you how much I appreciate the kind comments you leave on my blog. You asked what I was working on and if I started the socks yet, not yet, but soon! I appreciate the encouragement, I have all my sock supplies ready to go, but opted to work on a shawl instead. It is more like a wrap, made with soft, bulky yarn on big size 13 needles. The neat thing about the yarn is that it has silver sparkles and threads of clear tinsel running through it. I'm probably going to have to wait till next winter to wear it. I am using another lace pattern from my new Rita Weiss book, it is called "Print of the Wave" and is a little easier than the tulip design. I am hoping to have enough yarn left over to crochet an edging around the wrap and perhaps make a matching hat. How is the tulip lace coming along? I hope you have a nice afternoon! Delisa :)


Thanks for dropping in on the farm today! I enjoy your comments!