Are you on time?
This question has rolled around my head since yesterday's birthday dinner. Don's family is fabulous, but they are never on time. Lunch was to be at 12:30; the birthday boy showed up at 2. One daughter didn't get there until 3:15. This is a long history. There have been Christmas dinners we (me and Don) didn't eat and Thanksgiving dinners that were six hours late. My personal favorite was the Christmas dinner when we showed up at the appointed time and no one was home. After a series of frantic phone calls, we found that dinner time had been shifted forward three hours and we weren't told. Everyone had gone to eat at a Chinese restaurant; we had Nabs (Nabisco peanut butter and crackers) and a Coke. And I refused to go back for a meal until yesterday.
This has gotten me to thinking about being on time.
"Why are people so late?" I queired Don as we started home.
"I'm late when I don't want to do something," he confessed.
You know, I bet we all are late when that is the case. To me, however, being late is something more. It is like telling someone they aren't even important enough for me to respect their time or efforts to share moments. For some, it is a control issue. It is like their saying, "Well, to get all your attention, I am going to make you wait for me until you are really glad to see me." Or, for other's it is an indication that they underestimate the time it takes to get somewhere. Their judgement is skewed about time and space (which Don says should only happen one time if you are paying attention).
Whatever the reason, it drives me wild. Don's sister, darling Chris, confided to me yesterday, "If it weren't Daddy, we'd eat and clean up the whole meal now. But, you know, we live with the monsters we create."
Insightful. And, to her credit, there were no potatoes and apples left for the latecomers. "I am NOT going to make more," she declared. "If they had been here on time, they could have enjoyed a full meal with the rest of us." I kissed the top of her head and said, "Well done!"
How do you deal with late comers? What do you think about perpetual tardiness?
We were always taught that it was rude to keep others waiting, but now days they use the term "fashionably late". Guess it is an old-fashioned idea that has fallen by the wayside. But goodness, an hour and a half late for your own birthday dinner? That's more than late. My in-laws were the same way. They would always arrive late for dinners and then seem shocked that we were sitting down to eat. "Oh we stopped and had a bite before we got here" they always said. Finally just gave up, and began the dinners on schedule. After they walked in on a few meals in process, they figured they better come on time or not get fed. Of course, this didn't help our relationship much! They thought I was being difficult.
ReplyDeleteJane
I hate it when people are late. When Christopher's friends are to come over, you never know when they will arrive. The last LAN party he had, no one came on time and many were two hours late.
ReplyDeleteIt is disrespectful to be late.
ReplyDeleteI understand once and awhile things happen, but consistently?
That's just pure selfishness of them!
You give Chris a kiss on her head from me too and tell her I'm proud of her.
And kudos to you for trying to eat with them once again...the 'Nabs and Coke' incident would have been my last!
For the perpetual late-comers, we quit waiting. I might calculate in a "late-factor" when planning my meal time but once that is reached, we usually eat. Fortunately, we haven't had a lot of problem with that. But I do sympathize with you!
ReplyDeleteMy father was military, Air Force, he was a stickler for being on time and not losing one's keys...LOL! I am absolutely terrible with insisting about being on time. My husband is laid back and runs late--he claims I will have a heart attack due to stress before him:-)
ReplyDeleteI've never understood that whole late thing. I was born on my due date & punctuality has been important ever since. And if there's not even an effort to call & explain why someone's late, they are up a creek, as far as I'm concerned. Some of my extended family run late - we started hosting an open house with start & end times - that fits in well. But for a party with a start time - hoo-boy! Rude!
ReplyDelete-Connie
I like your Blog with Integrity badge, Matty! I think I will add that to my blog - and maybe it would be good for my facebook page, too, if they have one.
ReplyDeleteHave a great day!