Sunday, August 15, 2010

Dear Mean Girl

When I started blogging faithfully nearly a year ago, I was an innocent. It was scary to put myself out there and write about myself, people, ideas and a myriad of other things in a forum in which the Whole Wide World could see it. But, after being slow to take to it, I took the plunge and went for the whole enchaladia. Anything was fair game!

It has been a joy to write and share with so many of you: the two Brendas, the two Tonias, Suzanne, Jane (I miss your blog!), Karyn, Sandy, and a whole host of others who comment on my blog. I read yours and feel a kindred spirit with those I will most likely never meet. Here are people who are trying to do and be good, kind, loving, and, most of all, civil in a world, quite frankly, that is usually far from it!

Yet, from time to time, there is a toad in the garden, someone who delights in attacking you in an email or sending your readers emails with unkind comments or even will, sigh, post something unkind about you. They will even go so far as, rather tragically that this is the substance of their life, go through the blog comments and carefully delete theirs to make a rather pitiful example of just how much they don't agree with you. Have you no life? Nothing that is more meaningful?

In high school we called them the "Mean Girls." These were the "girls" who were spiteful, mean spirited, and relished in causing others hurt. They rode on the coat tails of others more successful or popular. They were the "girls" you hated to see, but knew you had to be nice to or you would be seeing your name in the bathroom stalls. These were the girls who appeared to have it all, but in reality had little substance. They had little except their petty meanness.

Why, you ask, am I commenting on this today? Well, I just discovered another lovely blog that is going private after a very mean attack by a cyber bully, a "mean girl." And this seems to be paramount on the web. The Yarn Harlot has mentioned more than once the snarky things posted on her blog and the stalking that has occurred. Nie Nie's dialogues has had more than one post about the same thing. And, I have had emails, off blog, about similar incidents. My goodness, have people gotten so insecure that they have to attack complete strangers? You know, no one forces you to read a blog, so why be so angry, so mean, so vindicative?

And so, Mean Girl, I pity you. If the sum and substance of your life is jumping from blog to blog and attacking, hurting, demeaning, and rumormonger, you need a lot of grace. You need a lot of prayer. And, you need a lot of kindness. You are in my prayers.


  1. I have seen some horrible comments come through on Stephs' blog--would a person wish to go through what that woman and her family has?! Her faith and character is a testimony I say.

    And since I have been on the receiving end of this I can sympathize, but it does make one scratch their head doesn't it???

    Thanks for posting this Matty and I hope you never get a mean girl on your case:-)

    And geez if I had known you were in three decker city I would have moved mountains to get to you--I lived there before the move to the country. Lived in the historic district--you would love the Antiquarian Society!!!

  2. It was because of mean girls I had to go to moderated comments. At the time, I found out the blog name for them was "trolls"... doesn't that fit?

    One of my favorite bloggers also went through a time when she thought of quitting due to her trolls. Instead she turned off comments completely.

  3. I moderate comments for that reason! Its Very unfortuante that some people have nothing better to do then be Mean! Trolls and Toads are exactly what they are! I have so far been able to nip it in the bud. Hopefully that is the way it will stay.

  4. Oh yeah and I would like your zucchini marmalade...It sounds interesting!

  5. Playground bullies. The fact is, they just don't have enough self esteem to say anything positive. First you have to love yourself. It's obvious with Trolls. Pity!

  6. Thank you for your blog post! I just received a link to it from a commenter on my blog. :) I have just been through this - through a forum online discussion - dissecting my life and blog and being really mean. It has been discouraging, hurtful and hard! So, thank you for your post! Have a blessed day!


Thanks for dropping in on the farm today! I enjoy your comments!