I Can't Put My Arms Down

Getting dressed to go to the barn is one of those tasks that I dread. I start out with what I have on --- usually sweat pants, turtle neck, and wool socks. On goes the insulated red coveralls -- well, mostly red. I confess. Even when I wash them, there are still stains on the knees where I get on them to do things in the barn or to reach an egg that is Just This Much Out of Reach.

Then, the "Go For A Hike" sweatshirt gets pulled over top -- complete with stains from muddy hooves that were trimmed and won't wash out and sleeves a little too long and rolled up. It is too big, but it is perfect over my coveralls.

Next, I struggle to reach down to pull on my 4" top barn boots. These I love because they are warm and Stay Tied... My other boots didn't and I was forever falling over the laces.

Add to this ensemble a handwoven cotton muffler, made by Evelyn, to keep my neck snug and dry. It has to be put on BEFORE the coat and AFTER the sweatshirt so that it won't flop out every time I bend over. I have been tangled up by the neck with goats and fences. I don't recommend this!

Next, a quilted jacket that I bought about 18 years ago is pulled on. It fit better then, but most of the buttons still close, so I am happy about that. It has a certain barn funk that no amount of washing will get out. In fact, the Mister suggests that I wash all my barn clothes "separate." I think the buck smell stays with them even in the wash...

On my head goes one of three kinds of hats, depending on the weather -- either a hand knit "Dairy Queen" hat (pattern: Elizabeth Zimmerman); a store boughten hat a neighbor gave me which is very frilly and not at all me, but the goats like it; or a Winnie-the-Pooh ski band. Sometimes, it is a combination of two of these. My head looks rather like a cotton swab if I wear the boughten hat and ski band, but no one cares. The goats are only after me for my grain and not my looks.

Spare gloves go into the pocket with my wonderful Case knife the Mister gave me for a birthday a few years ago (how many women ask for a pocket knife, btw?). I usually end up with terribly wet gloves for some reason during the winter, so I need at least two pair each feeding.

Heavy red fur lined leather gloves go on the hands. They are a little too big, I have small hands, but are perfect because I can wear knit gloves under them for extra warmth.

By this time, I have to sit down and rest. The heck of it is, I have on so many clothes that if I get on my knees in the barn, I have to crawl to the knee wall so I can pull myself up. Once I fell in the yard and had to roll down the hill to the duck house so I could pull myself up on the door. I so get the "I've fallen and can't get up" commercial. The worst thing is that I know the goats giggle at my attire. And heaven help me if I have to use the potty after getting dressed.

When will spring come??