Let me sum it up....

Yeah. It's kind of been like that...

The Airman is home and settled at his new duty station with Mrs. Airman.

Worked the blueberries all summer for my parents. Sold more than 500 gallons and still had berries in the field.

Been doing this:

Teaching English to students who want to write papers in text message. *Insert sigh and prayer here.*

Adopted Duchess and Annie. Duchess is a 10-year-old white deaf cat who was surrendered by her owner. She is a hoot.

Annie was born at Clover Cat Rescue and has been a joy to me. I believe Wookie picked her out for me. She spends most of her time doing this:

Yeah. Sugar Plum Eeyore and Annie are good buds. She carries him from the food bowl to the water dish to the litter box and to bed. She never had babies, so this is even more funny. When it is bedtime, she brings him and drops him at my feet and "mew!" in the most insistent tone.

In the fall, Lazy Bee Farm started getting a face lift -- bathrooms redone, painting, and furniture recovered:

Purple. That says it all.

Went to Seattle for the Airman family wedding vow renewals. Got to meet Clarice from Storybooks Woods and had a most marvelous time with Melinda and Freeman who drove up for the week. Love. Seattle. (And, no pics! Ack!)

Now, we have this going on...

Babies... babies... babies. This is Lotus with first-time Mum Lilac. Lotus and her brother, who is solid white and named Lyle, are about the size of cats... and so cute! They like having their faces and noses kissed.

I have missed blogging and sharing our farm! Let's not be strangers, eh?

Safe -- And Spring! All in One Day!

Happy, Happy Spring!

Pansies are Nature's Most Perfect Flowers, aren't they, with their pretty faces smiling at one?

Joyful news! The Airman is out of danger and back to a somewhat saner world (Thank you, Lord!). I don't think it will ever be completely sane, given what he does for a living, but that is okay. At least people aren't shooting at him anymore. Trust me; the irony of this being the first day of Spring and feeling like I can live again is not wasted on me!

So, on the agenda, my dears, for this coming week of Spring Break (Thank you, Lord!) is a lot of soap making -- I have some new molds that I can't wait to use -- journal making, dream pillow making, and some good clean reading that I don't have to do! Sprinkle into that mix a little heavy duty cleaning and a good snow storm in the forecast and you have, my friends, the making of a super Spring Break. I don't have to go anywhere or do anything except breathe! I like it! Yes, yes, I do!

Since last we spoke, Miss Clarice surprised us with triplets --- but, sadly, one died at birth. The other two, Chloe and Coty are darling little guys. Miss Chloe will most likely stay with us as she is a full Alpine. And, gorgeous beyond all words! And, Miss Cissie, the hussie, presented us with Ceafus. He is a cutie pie who springs around and has this charming habit of waiting to be petted and hugged... and carried! Lazy to the bone, that boy is. I'll try for pictures this week to share... just like a bragging M'Dear (I refuse to ever be called "Grandma"!)

Mr. Louie, the buck, has turned to some nasty behavior as of late. He has taken to head butting us to the point that we have to carry a small stick or switch to keep him from doing it. I suspect it is because he is in rut and the does are not having any part of it. And, Moe and March have managed to master Houdini's escape tricks and will NOT stay in their fence. So, he has no one to impress with his masculinity. Oh, add that to the Spring Break list. Rats. Fix fence. Done.

Life is very busy these days with teaching and farm. Teaching, mostly, truth be told. I foolishly accepted one more class than I should have. This has resulted in seven classes (two extra) and 181 students. It feels as though all I do is read email and put out fires... but we are only four, count 'em, four weeks from end of semester (after break). And, given so many folks are out of work these days, I am grateful for my job. (*Repeat until you believe it!).

The goats are calling and the chickens are, too! Off to the salt mines, er, feeding!

Have a glorious week!

Possible

In ten days, my Airman will be on sandless ground. Then, I will begin to breath, sleep, and live again. This has been the longest six months of my life. At least when I was pregnant with him, I could feel his movements and knew Just Where He Was. These months, I haven't. It has been tough. I think that is part of why I have shut down for nearly the past year. I haven't been able to bear anyone asking about him because I would force back tears. Is that understandable?

The Airman said that seeing the two HumVees in front of you hit a land mine changes how you see the world. It changes for the Mum of said Airman as well. I have always seen life as a series of ticking boxes: house, check; husband, check; college, check; job, check; check, check, check. I have a tendency to be too busy... to try to do too many things in too short  a time. Thus, nothing is a pleasure. It is a check mark. It is D O N E.

My Airman has taught me that it is the moment that matters. To slow down and really savor what one is doing Right Now. To stop and look at the frost on the windshield before I scrape it off; savor the berries I pop in my mouth; sip my tea; and, just be. I have learned to say "no" to the things I don't really want to do. It isn't because I don't want to be with someone, see something, go somewhere. It is that I want to be more focused and less rushed. Less busy. And I have started, when someone says, "I know you are busy..." to stop them right there and say, "yes, I am, but thank you." It feels good.

In 21 days, hopefully, my Airman will be flying through this continent long enough that I can see him somewhere, hug him a million times, and try not to cry while doing it. He hates for me to cry. "Ah, Mum, be cool. It's not that big of deal," he'll say. And I will reply, "Hush, sir. I am busy savoring the moment."

Another One

Last night was another one of those nights --- I don't sleep and, when I do, it is a sleep that is anything but restful. I wake myself praying, "Please, God, protect my son and all those with him. Surround them with Your loving hands and protect them from those who would hurt them. Show them their path in life and guide them to it with love and care. Bring them home unscathed by the horrors they see and experience. I gave him to You when he was a baby; now, keep Your Promise and give him fulness of days." And so it goes, hour after hour, night after night.

We have no TV connection to the outside world; we have only the internet for news and sometimes that is too much. Another two die in the stupidity of Afghanistan and Iraq. Fifty more face devasting injuries. A hundred more have injuries we can't see. I feel my knees shake, my heart cries when I hear these things. They are someone's son or daughter, and, yet, I feel a sense of relief that it isn't my son. I feel guilty for these thoughts... but still, I whisper,"Tthank you, Father, it isn't my child." A terrible paradox of empathy and joy.

I wonder how other mothers deal with this. How do they stand the not knowing? How do they face every day without weeping in the grocery line? How do they bear putting their heads on their pillows knowing that their child is in a tent in a country where children throw rocks at his convey and he sees the "impact cloud" where a comrade missed an IED and there is just enough of him left to fill a bag to send to his mother? How can they bear it? I don't know if I can. I am not strong. I am not brave.

Today is day 65. We have another 115 to go. And, this morning, after five days silence there was a single text:

Hey, Mum! You'd love this place because I am with a group of British Special Ops. Last night we saw the new Bond movie. U2!

How did I raise so brave a man? Tighten up, girl, he depends on you to keep it real and normal. I can do it. With God's help.

1982

Three decades ago, just on this date and almost at this time, a screaming little guy entered the world. It was a crazy day --- rain and sunshine mixed, pay day, Chicago Tylenol murders, and EPCOT opening. As usual, this little guy was late -- a full two weeks, to be exact -- and looked like he was three months old and had spent most of that time at the beach working on his tan.

In his first picture, he looks rather like a pirate, scrunching up one eye and holding his hands in the way only pirates do, clutching for something that he wants but Just Can't Reach. Yet. He is just a few minutes old, but his chocolate eyes (how I had hoped he'd get those from his Daddy!) were taking in everything in the delivery room --- most likely trying to figure out how to get the nurses to take him for a quick game of pool or a drink.

A few weeks later (or so it seems), he was entering high school and asking for a 16th birthday trip to England. Just the two of us, he said, which was good since that was all there was... and we roomed together, toured, walked, ate, and played a blue moon million games of poker at night while seeing England from London to York. He didn't throw up when a fella we met at one of the hostels asked how long he had been with his "lady." Good naturedly, he replied, "All my life" only to be assured by the questioner that it just seemed that way sometimes.... until the explanation of "this is my Mum" was made. The fella just howled and said we got along far too well to be parent and child. And, we returned home still friends and speaking.

Then, suddenly, this handsome young man was on his own (I swear it was just a few weeks after he made his grand entrance) and following his bliss. He did things I wished I had done; took chances and made choices that drove me to distraction (isn't that a rule or something when one has children?). And he has made me so proud to be his Mum.

It is difficult to look at one's child and realize that when I was his age, I thought I was so old and wise -- my life was half over, or so it seemed. Yet, when I look at him, I see his life just beginning and so many wonderful years ahead of him and his beautiful wife. I miss my tow-headed, chocolate eyed son, but I would miss the courageous, intelligent, compassionate, and witty young man I am so joyful to have in my life.

You are far away right now, my dear Airman, but I can feel you just as I could before you were born. Through you, I know that I will continue to be as long as you and your children and your children's children think of me or make my pound cake. The day you came into the world, it became a better place. And I am proud to know that I had a hand in making you. Me and God. Oh, and your Dad showed up, too...

Happy Birthday, Airman! May you have many, many, many more! Be safe and come home soon!

A Little Cheese Please

Today I am feeling very overwhelmed.

This is my schedule nearly every week day:

5:15 Out of bed
        Feed all the inside animals and the outside dogs and cats
        Make coffee or tea
        Pack lunch
        Prepare breakfast
        Clean litter box
        Dress and leave for campus

6:30  Must be in the car and headed to work.

7:30  Arrive work: answer emails, phone messages, counsel students, check assignments

9:30-12:15  Class

12:30-1:30-2 Office hours --- more of the above

2:00 Leave campus and run all errands (feed, grocery store, post office, and so forth)

3:30ish Arrive home
          Answer college emails
           Change for barn
          Start supper
          Feed all the critters in the house and outside again
          Clean litter box

4 (usually)- 6
          Fill woodstove
          Hook-up water
          Dump compost
          Feed, water chickens and gather eggs
          Hay to the bucks
          Turn does out on fresh pasture
          Feed cow
          Clean goat yard, stalls (30 minutes)
          Feed does
          Give does hay
          Feed bucks

6     Finish supper
       Wash all dishes
       Clean eggs and put away
       Start laundry or clean about 1/2 hour
        Make soap, in spring
       Make bee food, in spring
     
7:30-9
        Check email
        Prepare for class
        Review assignments
       Assorted other homework or housework

9   Bathe
     Knit 30 minutes
     Read Bible, night-night book

10-11 Lights out

1:30 Wake up to put the dog out....

No wonder I am so tired. Just once in a while, I'd like the Mister to beat me home and do this list. Just once. Oh, well, I leave to see the Airman and his bride in Okinawa on Tuesday... And I can rest then... Right??

  
     
       

The Truth Will Out...

The Airman showed me what he really does. BTW.. the suit weighs about 80 lbs.... Enjoy!