Last night was another one of those nights --- I don't sleep and, when I do, it is a sleep that is anything but restful. I wake myself praying, "Please, God, protect my son and all those with him. Surround them with Your loving hands and protect them from those who would hurt them. Show them their path in life and guide them to it with love and care. Bring them home unscathed by the horrors they see and experience. I gave him to You when he was a baby; now, keep Your Promise and give him fulness of days." And so it goes, hour after hour, night after night.
We have no TV connection to the outside world; we have only the internet for news and sometimes that is too much. Another two die in the stupidity of Afghanistan and Iraq. Fifty more face devasting injuries. A hundred more have injuries we can't see. I feel my knees shake, my heart cries when I hear these things. They are someone's son or daughter, and, yet, I feel a sense of relief that it isn't my son. I feel guilty for these thoughts... but still, I whisper,"Tthank you, Father, it isn't my child." A terrible paradox of empathy and joy.
I wonder how other mothers deal with this. How do they stand the not knowing? How do they face every day without weeping in the grocery line? How do they bear putting their heads on their pillows knowing that their child is in a tent in a country where children throw rocks at his convey and he sees the "impact cloud" where a comrade missed an IED and there is just enough of him left to fill a bag to send to his mother? How can they bear it? I don't know if I can. I am not strong. I am not brave.
Today is day 65. We have another 115 to go. And, this morning, after five days silence there was a single text:
Hey, Mum! You'd love this place because I am with a group of British Special Ops. Last night we saw the new Bond movie. U2!
How did I raise so brave a man? Tighten up, girl, he depends on you to keep it real and normal. I can do it. With God's help.
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Sunday, January 24, 2010
First Day Musings
"Hope and keep busy." This is the advice Marmee gave Jo as she was struggling to find her path in life. It is a truth that we do desparately need these days.
I've written about this before, but today, in this world of dark sadness and such a strong sense of defeat, it seems that we need a reminder to do just this.
Hope. The Bible says: "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12 Notice that it says "joyful." I think of an expectant couple. They have hope they will have a healthy, happy child. They are joyful in that hope. They carefully select every item for their new child's nursery. Weeks are spent researching names and debating how it sounds. Dreams of what their child will look like, act like, become, fill the parents' nights and days. Hope. To me, it is like faith: the substance of things hoped (expected, anticipated, wished, longed) for.
Keep busy. This verse is so inspiring: "All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty." Proverbs 14:22-23. If we are worried or frustrated, the best thing we can do is get our hands busy. Think of it. If we are only talking, talking, talking about our problems or worries we are standing still. We are keeping them alive by continuing to relive them, confirming their power in our life. If we, on the other hand, put our hands to work, we are no longer immobile. Rather, we are finding something productive to do. We are filling our hands with now and not then. I have a friend who tells the story of how her family did her wrong every single time we talk. I can recite her story with her; it never varies. My friend is angry, frustrated, and hurt. I understand that. Who wouldn't be? But, by holding onto the past, she is only filling her hands with things that are dead, done, over. If she could just let go, she could fill her hands with the now and let go of and heal from the hurt. I'd love to tell her this, but she doesn't stop talking long enough for me to do so!
These are dark days, my friends. There is so much pain, hurt, loss, and unhappiness everywhere we turn. But, instead of staying tuned to CNN or Fox News, turn off the TV. Pick up a good book, your knitting needles, sewing needle, vacuum cleaner, or an empty box to fill with things you do not need or wonder why you bought them. Quit letting the world fill your mind and heart with worry. You make a difference in your corner of the world. As Winston Churchill said, "Never give up!"
I've written about this before, but today, in this world of dark sadness and such a strong sense of defeat, it seems that we need a reminder to do just this.
Hope. The Bible says: "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12 Notice that it says "joyful." I think of an expectant couple. They have hope they will have a healthy, happy child. They are joyful in that hope. They carefully select every item for their new child's nursery. Weeks are spent researching names and debating how it sounds. Dreams of what their child will look like, act like, become, fill the parents' nights and days. Hope. To me, it is like faith: the substance of things hoped (expected, anticipated, wished, longed) for.
Keep busy. This verse is so inspiring: "All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty." Proverbs 14:22-23. If we are worried or frustrated, the best thing we can do is get our hands busy. Think of it. If we are only talking, talking, talking about our problems or worries we are standing still. We are keeping them alive by continuing to relive them, confirming their power in our life. If we, on the other hand, put our hands to work, we are no longer immobile. Rather, we are finding something productive to do. We are filling our hands with now and not then. I have a friend who tells the story of how her family did her wrong every single time we talk. I can recite her story with her; it never varies. My friend is angry, frustrated, and hurt. I understand that. Who wouldn't be? But, by holding onto the past, she is only filling her hands with things that are dead, done, over. If she could just let go, she could fill her hands with the now and let go of and heal from the hurt. I'd love to tell her this, but she doesn't stop talking long enough for me to do so!
These are dark days, my friends. There is so much pain, hurt, loss, and unhappiness everywhere we turn. But, instead of staying tuned to CNN or Fox News, turn off the TV. Pick up a good book, your knitting needles, sewing needle, vacuum cleaner, or an empty box to fill with things you do not need or wonder why you bought them. Quit letting the world fill your mind and heart with worry. You make a difference in your corner of the world. As Winston Churchill said, "Never give up!"
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