Tuesday, March 5, 2013


In ten days, my Airman will be on sandless ground. Then, I will begin to breath, sleep, and live again. This has been the longest six months of my life. At least when I was pregnant with him, I could feel his movements and knew Just Where He Was. These months, I haven't. It has been tough. I think that is part of why I have shut down for nearly the past year. I haven't been able to bear anyone asking about him because I would force back tears. Is that understandable?

The Airman said that seeing the two HumVees in front of you hit a land mine changes how you see the world. It changes for the Mum of said Airman as well. I have always seen life as a series of ticking boxes: house, check; husband, check; college, check; job, check; check, check, check. I have a tendency to be too busy... to try to do too many things in too short  a time. Thus, nothing is a pleasure. It is a check mark. It is D O N E.

My Airman has taught me that it is the moment that matters. To slow down and really savor what one is doing Right Now. To stop and look at the frost on the windshield before I scrape it off; savor the berries I pop in my mouth; sip my tea; and, just be. I have learned to say "no" to the things I don't really want to do. It isn't because I don't want to be with someone, see something, go somewhere. It is that I want to be more focused and less rushed. Less busy. And I have started, when someone says, "I know you are busy..." to stop them right there and say, "yes, I am, but thank you." It feels good.

In 21 days, hopefully, my Airman will be flying through this continent long enough that I can see him somewhere, hug him a million times, and try not to cry while doing it. He hates for me to cry. "Ah, Mum, be cool. It's not that big of deal," he'll say. And I will reply, "Hush, sir. I am busy savoring the moment."


  1. Oh Matty! I'm so happy that the Airman will be home soon. I've thought of writing to you often, because you hadn't posted anything in so long, but to tell you the truth, I was afraid of what I might find. Congratulations on joining the "just say no" club!

    1. Thanks, Jane! Don't ever be afraid. Even bad things are good when carried with another! Thanks for your concern and kind thoughts! I love saying NO! LOL

  2. My good friend I meet for coffee once in awhile went through the very same thing when her son was in Afghanastan last year.

    She couldn't get her mind off of him the entire time he was there. I pray your son arrives home safe and sound and is surrounded by angels protecting him at all times.

    I went through a time not that long ago when I questioned why I spent my time doing some things, especially those I didn't have to do.

    I wonder if that is a "God thing", when he uses people (real life and in books) to make us think through things more clearly?

    1. Brenda,

      I definitely think it is a "God Thing!" LOL He uses us all to help each other, don't you think? It's just sometimes He uses a hammer to make sure we are listening!


Thanks for dropping in on the farm today! I enjoy your comments!