Sunday, June 28, 2015

First Day Musings: What Really Matters....

open source photo

Most of my life I have struggled with my self-image. I was the tallest kid in class when I was in fourth grade -- a full 5'5" with the curves and bumps to match. All the boys oogled me; I slumped and dressed to hide the 21-year-old figure I had been blessed with a bit too early. At 16, I became anorexic, starving myself down to a shadowy 100 pounds, wearing size 14 girl's clothing, and loathing myself because I thought my thighs were too big and my boobs, well, they were far to obvious. By 21, I was at least 110 pounds, but still constantly concerned about my size and the scale. I weighed every day, cut my food to nothing until the numbers were "acceptable" and start the treadmill over again. 

When the Airman was born, I was "normal" weight, but I wore my regular clothes home from the hospital. He weighed a full eight pounds and six ounces, so I had made sure to eat properly and take care of giving him the best possible start -- even stopping caffeine and sugar to ensure he was healthy as possible. 

Then, the battle of the scales started again. 

I have been fat, thin, svelte, and all points in between. However, now, entering my seven decade, I realize that this fabulous body I have can do all things -- I unload 50-pound bags of feed alone; throw 60-pound hay bales; groom dogs; garden; canoe; bike (motorcycle and regular bicycle); trim goat hooves; paint houses, walls, and floors; and, about anything else I desire. I have come to accept that my weight really doesn't matter. Yes, I would like to be trimmer, but, perhaps all those years of abuse has taken a toll on my metabolism. Doctors say so, thus, it must be true, right? 

Regardless, I am grateful for this body of mine for all it does to serve the spirit within. Here, at my seventh decade, I see others the same age who are more limited in what they are able to accomplish or struggle with daily pain and diminishing strength. I am grateful that I still have a healthy appetite, enjoy my food, and able to keep moving. I am grateful to my Creator for allowing me to have a body that, in spite of days when I am sore or tired, will still allow me to help others; pet my dogs, cats, goats, and pigs; knit; raise terrific tomatoes and potatoes; spend a day with my Mother and Daddy strolling their farm; cuddle a baby or wrestle an errant kid. Life is good and comes only in one size -- extra large!

Strength and well-being are really all that matters. And I have a healthy dose of both! How is yours?


7 comments:

  1. Wow, you are strong. Here I am lighting weights trying to get strong like you and you already are. I agree, i would rather be strong and healthy, than skinny xox Clarice

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    1. I lift weights three times a week! These bones need all the help they can get! Keep it up! Good for you!

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  2. A big part of my life has been a "body-battle" like yours, and my metabolism is down the drain, along with my health. 15 years back my body broke down in sereous illness and has never recovered. I don't have any strength left and I am in constant pain, I wear a few "too many" pounds, but I am loving my body! It is all mine and I am grateful for all the parts that do work. In periods I rely on crutches, so when a good period comes along and I can walk normally without - I am so happy. Seeking the perfect body the medias portray is a hoax. Love the one you have I say, eat healthy and treat it well. You're worth it. Pam in Norway

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    1. Agreed, Pam! We keep moving because if we don't, we won't! Hang in there, love yourself, and keep the faith! I love your blog, btw! I hope you will keep writing!

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  3. Amen Matty! Because of hypothyroidism I really struggle with my weight. For years I didn't have to think about calories or exercise, but then was hit with this disease. It doesn't help that I have an overly critical mother that bases her love on appearance. While I can't say I'm satisfied with my body (I'll always be dieting) , I can say that my body has served me well. Just the other day my son and I were talking about how people my age start looking for ranch homes so they don't have to climb stairs. I'm grateful that my body isn't that broken down that I have to think of selling my house just because it's two stories. Aging isn't for sissies!

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    1. Jane, aging is certainly not for the weak! I knew a man long ago who used to say, "Life is wonderful if you don't weaken!" LOL Amen to that! How's that new grandbaby??

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Thanks for dropping in on the farm today! I enjoy your comments!

Warmly,

Matty