You Never Know....

Usually I stop at the Mennonite store on Thursdays to pick up a sandwich, milk, and some cheese or chicken salad. Two weeks ago, the Mister and I had lunch together there and found ourselves sitting next to a charming 'plain' couple. The young man was excited because he had seen an Osprey at the local airport taking off and had caught it on his cell phone. He was showing his companion (whom I learned was his sister) and jumped up to show it to the Mister.

He was such a charming young man --- curious, excited, and joyful. We had a delightful conversation and wished each other a wonderful week.

Today I was in that area and decided to stop. There, on the porch, sat the cute young woman, dressed 'plainly', rocking and looking into space. She seemed surrounded by sadness, so I thought perhaps her young man hadn't arrived yet and she was worried. After all, the weather today is dreadful and the traffic even worse.

As I got out of the car, I called up to her, "Hello! How are you today? We met two weeks ago; you and your companion were next to us in the dining room!"

She looked at me and her green eyes filled with tears. "That was my brother. I remember now."

"Are you okay? Is he meeting you here today?"

"No. He was shot. Gunshot."

Immediately my hand went to my mouth and I gasped.

"Is he okay?"

Slowly she shook her head "no." "He died." And she began to sob.

Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around her and tried to comfort her. Slowly, the story came out. He was killed when his gun accidently went off in his holster while he was fencing for a friend. He died almost immediately from a massive wound to the abdomen.

"I was just asking God to help me," she confided. "I just don't know how I will get through this."

We chatted for a while, sharing our faith, her grief, and my shock.

Her friends came out and sat to listen. Finally, I took my leave and went on to do my shopping. When I came out, she was brighter even though her eyes were still liquid with tears. She thanked me for stopping and talking.  I told her that I would be remembering her and her family in my prayers and that I knew God would use this tragedy to show His love and faithfulness.

As I drove off, she started rocking again and I could see she was praying. I was grateful that I was able to be there to listen. Here we were, two strangers, but connected through just a few moments of conversation and our mutual sadness over a life ended too soon.

You just never know where God will put you and when. But, when He does, listen.

Where Scaredy Cats, er, Dogs, Go...

Moose and Anabell are terrified of thunder and lightening. Personally, I think it is just a ploy to get to come in the house, but whatever the truth is, they do end up in the house at the first roll of thunder. We learned to just give in when Anabell took out the front door during a particularly rough storm. So, last night, when the storms started,  we could hear the prancing at the door and knew we had to give in.

You can see who is taking the storm with the best attitude... Moosie is just happy to be inside. Anabell passes out, I think to block the storm. If ever a dog could smile, it is our Moose.

I have promised for quite a while to show the mural over the stove.

An artist in Florida, who once was a neighbor interestingly enough, painted this for us. Don't you love the little chickens?

We also had tiles done with these little guys in various patterns of flight done:



They are randomly around the backsplash long with a variety of fruit sprinkled about. After all, we do have to keep the bees happy.

I am making relish and watching the rain fall. What are you doing today??

"Peeping" In

Doncha love home movies? I do!

Here are our latest babies. I think they are saying, "Cheese!" ... sort of...

Confessions

While I have been cleaning my house and around the farm, I have been cleaning my thoughts and mind as well. I have learned many things about myself... some which please me while others disappoint me.

Most of my life I have felt like an outsider. I wanted to be accepted, to feel that I had a place with others. Often I have sold myself short or followed the crowd just to make myself believe that I fit. This meant that if someone read a book, talked about an idea, or did something 'interesting' that I would have to do it too. I couldn't trust myself to be who I am; it just hurt too much to feel alone.

As I have cleared out the clutter, I have realized that I still do this. I still want to be the member of the "club" whatever that is. However, it isn't fulfilling who I am. You know, we ask God for guidance to be who we should be, but are we really listening? Seriously, are we taking the time to listen to what we are being told? Or, are we too busy letting others influence us so that we don't have time to listen to the Big Guy and be true to that path?? I know that I have let others influence me more than I should. And, I have paid the tuition to that school repeatedly. You do know that the definition of "stupid" is doing the same thing again and again expecting a different outcome?? Well, here is the picture of stupid: Me.

This farm is full to the brim of those useless followings and urges. We can't openly discuss the amount of money, time, and energy that has gone into trying to feel like a 'member of the club.' It is too depressing. And, to be candid, the frustration of this knowledge has left me feeling like I did when I lost my bikini top in Lake Wales when I tried to learn to ski. Embarrassed and foolish... and sort of wishing I were invisible.

So, here it is, folks, I am what I am. Just like Popeye. I am a failure at many things, but that is because they are not the things I should be. I am a success at being me. Just tonight we were watching this horribly campy movie, "Captain Smith and Pocohontas" (don't give up an hour of your life to watch this; trust me) and the closing scene was of the Pocohontas statute in London. The Mister asked me, "Have you seen this?" And, I had. In person. I thought for a minute. "You know, I have had a wonderful life, mostly," I told him. It has just been in the past few years that I have tried to find a way to fit in where maybe I don't belong and it has left me feeling like I am dressed for a day in the garden even though I am attending a grand ball. And, truth be told, I would rather garden.

So, here it is. My life. Take it or leave it. Me? I'm in with both feet!