A Little Research

As an academic, it is important that I continually conduct research in order to keep current in my field. As such, I have found that primary research, that which I conduct myself and not those of another researcher, are the most reliable and valid sources of information that I can utilize. As such, I present for you my findings on:

The top ten things to do in a meeting

10. Read an assignment you are giving to your students.
9.   Knit.
8.   Try to sleep without snoring.
7.   Count how many other people are sleeping and are snoring.
6.   Take bets with your seatmates over who will go to sleep first.
5.   Text the most pregnant staff member and suggest she stand up and scream, "My water broke!"
4.   Text another faculty member and ask them to grab their chest and fall on the floor (if number five doesn't work).
3.   Play "Angry Birds" on your phone.
2.   Count how many times the words "stakeholder", "progress", and "change" are used in one presentation.
1.   Play "Hang Man" with a colleague using only words that describe the meeting.

Guess what I did today?